just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
