I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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