If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
