One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
