Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
