So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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