Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize