walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
