What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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