As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
