My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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