Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
