You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
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and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize