Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
