walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
