I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
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