We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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