The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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