He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
