You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
