I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
