Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
