I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
