I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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