i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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