NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
