i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
