my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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