you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
