Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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