Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
