I think i peed on brittanys purse
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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