Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
