We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize