This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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