I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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