HIV tests are more positive than that guy
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
