Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
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He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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