I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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