When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
