Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just found a bag of teeth...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
