You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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