so that wasnt chicken after all
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
