i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
