You're completely useless in the revolution.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
