sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
