You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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