Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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