Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
