Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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