i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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