What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
