I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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