Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
