Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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