Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
