Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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