i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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