when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
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