if you like me you must not know who I am
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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