508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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