My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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