just tell him i said nine months
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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